Another Bad Play
---------------------------------
by
Dale Jeffries
Copyright © 2004,
Dalebay Productions
Cast or Characters
JERRY: A Male in his 20’s or 30’s?
HAPPY: Brother 20 to 25?
PAPPY: Dad 44 to 120?
MOLE: Who cares?
FILLIN: Anyone of age?
Time
Who Cares, 2004 English?
Setting: Any setting you desire.
AT RISE: Jerry walks in. Jerry is pacing the stage mad at
the Actors & Actresses for being two-faced. Pappy enters with a beer and finds Jerry talking to him self.
JERRY
Actor’s, they walk around that green room like their famous!
PAPPY
Hey Jerry, what’s--
JERRY
Them Actresses too.
PAPPY
Damn right! And you know--
JERRY
Hey Pappy.
PAPPY
Hey Jerry, Bad day?
JERRY
Yeah.
PAPPY
(Hands Jerry a cup)
Here you go.
JERRY
So, what is it any how?
(tips up the cup and starts gulping)
(PAPPY looks at his watch)
PAPPY
Piss!
JERRY
(spits it out everywhere)
Piss!
PAPPY
Yeah Jerry I got to go.
(Leaves the room)
(JERRY looking at his cup)
JERRY
Your leaving!
(JERRY looks up and throws the cup toward the door)
(HAPPY walks in)
Hey, that’s all the beer man!
JERRY
Beer!
HAPPY
Yeah, beer.
JERRY.
You see Pappy?
HAPPY
I sure did!
JERRY
You see Pappy again! Tell him--
(PAPPY walks in slurring speech)
Hey boys, glad to see you both here.
HAPPY
Jerry was just asking for you.
(PAPPY Still slurring speech)
Well Jerry, Did that beer help ya any.
(Hick Up)
JERRY
Beer! You told me it was piss.
PAPPY
Ok, and you are not as drunker then I think I am. What?
I smarten to feel it.
HAPPY
Feel it?
PAPPY
Yeah, this White Lighting he’s a tellin.
(PAPPY pulls a bottle out of his Jacket)
(HAPPY snatches the battle form Jerry and gulps it)
Damn, this is real.
JERRY
Real!
(PAPPY laughs)
(HAPPY pulls out the Script and looks at it)
(JERRY looks at the Script with Happy)
(PAPPY still laughing and falls in the floor)
HAPPY
I think he is really drunk.
JERRY.
I think he is too, cause this (grabs the bottle) aint in the script.
PAPPY
(HAPPY whisper to Jerry We need to get him off Stage).
(JERRY tell the audience)
Just a moment Please.
(grab Pappy by the arms with Jerry and walks him just out the door)
JERRY.
What the hell is a matter with you, bringing that booze?
HAPPY
You can’t just show up drunk either.
JERRY
Go back home and straiten up, so we don’t get kicked out of the University.
(PAPPY stand out side until next cue)
(HAPPY AND JERRY step in the door while whispering to each other
start acting paranoid about the beer on the floor)
JERRY
We need to get this shit up.
(HAPPY grab anyone from the Audience to watch the door- Give them a script)
HAPPY
Help us?
FILLIN
Help you do what?
HAPPY.
Watch the door. If you see someone coming, tell us.
(FILLIN looking back in fourth paranoid too)
(HAPPY start cleaning fast with Jerry)
JERRY
I smell it everywhere up here.
HAPPY.
Yeah, I know.
JERRY.
That beer Pappy gave me--
HAPPY.
Beer!
JERRY.
Yeah, beer!?
HAPPY.
Well you just—
FILLIN.
Hey, Hey!?
JERRY.
WHAT!
FILLIN.
Someone is coming, that’s what!?
HAPPY.
Hurry, stand over here.
(MOLE walks in) .
What’s going on in here!?
JERRY.
Nothing?
MOLE.
So, why do I smell Beer?
JERRY.
BEER!.
(HAPPY look at Jerry)
Shout up.
MOLE
What do you mean beer?
JERRY.
I’m just happy it was not piss?
(laughs)
HAPPY.
He means someone came in and through beer on the stage.
MOLE.
I see?
(JERRY laughing on the floor now).
Yeah, and it could have been piss on the floor.
MOLE
So, why did Pappy go home?
HAPPY.
He got sick.
MOLE.
I may pay him a visit.
(MOLE leaves)
(JERRY stands up).
I can’t believe this.
HAPPY
Believe it because that was to close.
JERRY
To close?
HAPPY
Yeah! Let’s sit here and drink.
(Sits with Happy)
HAPPY.
Remember that song we made up when we was kids.
HAPPY AND JERRY.
My Momma lied over the Otion.
My Daddy lied over the see.
My Daddy lied over my Momma.
And that’s how they made me…
HAPPY AND JERRY.
(laugh together)
JERRY
Yes, the good old days.
HAPPY
The good old days are right.
(PAPPY runs in breathing hard)
JERRY
What’s a matter Pappy.
PAPPY
I… I--
HAPPY
Well spit it out will ya!?
PAPPY
The Mole, she…--
(breathing hard crouched down)
HAPPY
What about her?
PAPPY
I told her that I left because I got sick on the stage.
JERRY
You did what!
PAPPY
I didn’t want to tell her I through beer on the stage!
JERRY
Is there anything else we should know!?
PAPPY
Yeah, she hired John shoemaker.
HAPPY.
John Shoemaker is coming here.
PAPPY
Yes.
JERRY.
We need to leave before we lose are money.
HAPPY.
I’m with you on that he’s bad news.
PAPPY.
Yeah, and I want to stay in school.
HAPPY.
And what about all these people.
PAPPY.
Give them their Money back.
JERRY.
To hell with that, we told them it was a Bad Play.
HAPPY.
Then what are you waiting for?
JERRY.
Let’s get the hell out of here?
(Jerry, Happy, Pappy runs out and away!)
FILLIN.
(looks in side) The Mole is coming!?
(The Mole walks in and looks around as she walks out she says)
MOLE.
One of these days.
(MOLE LEAVES)